[The Original]
I remember you, I remember the long nights that made my days happier. Every message I'd get from you. Every IM, every e-mail. I remember. I remember thinking of you nonstop, always in the back of my mind humming slowly, but always, all ways there. I remember the way we'd keep each other up til very, very late, (more than was safe for both our jobs and health) talking about everything, about you and me, and us, and our impossible future together; dreaming.
I remember all of your kind words, the ones that still up to this date, even if everything was a lie, give me hope. I don't hate you, and that's the most (I will butcher the word here) ironic part of it all. I don't hate you, not one bit, and believe me, it is quite easy for me to hate someone, and when I do, I hate deeply and thoroughly. I remember your voice and that cute little accent that had my stomach doing backflips the whole time I got to talk to you, just for that one time.
I remember all the things you said, and I've kept with me almost every conversation we've ever had. They are things I dare not erase, or delete. Sometimes they get me through the day. Like when that one time you said 'You have my heart.' and I actually thought I did, because you certainly had mine. I remember the way you made me feel, every time you gave me hope; you gave me something I didn't have. Something I was too afraid to have. I felt more things not being with you than being with someone else.
And yet, despite everything that didn't happen, and in spite of everything that did, I still have happy memories of that time, and I am still fond of you, because knowing you has made me a better person. You gave me strength, and courage, and hope, and faith, at times when these were mere words in books and dictionaries. You gave me something I hadn't had in a while. Bliss; Love. You made me better, and I am thankful every day for it.
Love, Always and Love Always.
Tiziana Antonia Bardellino
