It's A Miracle....

You know, it truly is a miracle that people find it in their hearts to start families. People who come from broken and abusive homes actually want to have a family. I should know I'm one of them. Today I had an argument with my sister (one of many) and she kindly told me that I am a waste of space, that's doing nothing with her life. Isn't she the best?? The real incredible thing is that as soon as she left and I cooled down the only thing I thought of was, that I don't want my daughters to be shitty to each other the way mine is with me.

It makes me want to cry.

What kind of sister kicks you when you're down???

Sure I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing, but I'm trying to figure it out. I just don't know where to start looking.

I have a negligent father, a verbally abusive mother, an indifferent brother, and a bitch of a sister.

I still want a family, maybe because I want to show my self that it can be different. Maybe because I'm not loved enough, not understood enough, not needed or wanted enough. I don't know. But I want a family I can call my own.

A miracle, I swear that's what it is.

Yours truly....